Sharing news of a bowel cancer diagnosis at Christmas
Thursday 5 December 2024
John had a tough decision to make when telling his family about his stage 2 bowel cancer diagnosis just before Christmas in 2023.
Last Christmas was a blur. I was diagnosed with bowel cancer on 16 December 2023, so close to Christmas Day that I spent it in a state of shock.
Getting my diagnosis
I didn’t have any symptoms, but I did my bowel screening test straightaway after receiving it in the post, because I was the eligible age. I got a letter saying the test had found blood in my poo.
I was invited for a colonoscopy to check what was happening. During the test they found polyps, which they removed. Afterwards, they took my partner and I into a side room where a nurse explained to us that I had bowel cancer.
Telling my family
Getting this news was a massive shock and accepting it was difficult. We’re a very close family, which made deciding not to tell our children straightaway difficult.
My partner and I wanted them and our grandchildren to have as ‘normal’ a Christmas as possible though. We didn’t want to spoil everyone’s time.
I also wanted them to be together when I told them, so they could comfort each other through what I knew would be very difficult news. One of our daughters was away enjoying a holiday with her husband, so there wasn’t a chance to meet before Christmas. Our other daughter was pregnant and I wanted her to have the support of her siblings when I told her.
However, during a phone call with our son, he could hear that his mum was upset. We hadn’t planned to tell him before his sisters, but he asked what was wrong. He was upset by my diagnosis, but he helped us think about how to break the news to his sisters in a way that would make them worry less.
A few days after Christmas we asked our daughters and their partners to visit us. I told them that I’d had some tests and something had been found. I reassured them that my outcome looked positive as it had been caught early. I avoided saying the ‘cancer’ word, but they guessed this was my diagnosis.
I explained that I’d delayed telling them about my diagnosis because I wanted to protect them from the unanswered questions before my biopsy results came back. I wanted to wait until I had a treatment plan, because that would offer us some hope.
Of course, they were upset that I had bowel cancer. They understood my choice to tell them when I was ready and that my choice was made with their best interests in mind.
After this, they’ve been a part of every step. I’ve talked to them about my progress and I’ve held nothing back.
Looking forward to the future
At the start of December 2024 I’m due to have my ileostomy reversed, so I’m looking forward to celebrating this festive season — gently!
As this Christmas approaches and I reflect on what has been the toughest year for all of us following my bowel cancer diagnosis, I know that having my family and friends by my side has helped me get through the dark moments.
I’m hopeful that in the new year I’ll be able to get back to the activities I love, like mountain biking and holidays with my family.
Telling people you have a bowel cancer diagnosis is hard, there's no one way to do it. There was a sense of relief when I did it though and the support of my loved ones has been essential. They’ve been my reason to keep positive.
